Tuesday, January 19, 2010

In which I start ripping on Avatar

First, a disclaimer: someone let Snarky Claire out of her cage this morning. The following post is going to be a mean spirited tirade about all that is wrong in the world movie. Don't read past this cute photo if you still want to think of me kindly, or absolutely loved the movie Avatar and think that it is "better than Star Wars!". Better than Star Wars? Better than STAR WARS?
***PUG BREAK***
Smiling!
Where was I? Oh yes:
It turns out that I am completely out of touch with popular culture. This is not really a shock or even news, but it's all come to an interesting head with AVATAR.
First of all: the name. Up until about a month ago, I was convinced that they had made a movie out of the animated tv series Avatar: The Last Airbender. I have never seen The Last Airbender. I have no desire to see The Last Airbender. And honestly, Airbender sounds like a fancy word for a fart. So why would I want to see a movie based on said flatulence? How was I to know there were no blue people(?) in said animated tv show? And why did James Cameron get involved?
I was calling Avatar "Air Bender" up until very recently. Actually, sometimes I still slip up and call it that.
So, just for the record:
THIS is Avatar: The Last Air Bender:

and THIS is AVATAR, no Air Bender:

I can tell the difference now! Interestingly, if you search Avatar Images on Google, this is what comes up. So at least it's not just me who's confused.
This poor movie really never had a chance with me. Maybe it was the McDonald's tie in commercials. You know the one, where the guy turns to the other guy and says "Since when do mountains float?!"
Since this:

1986, Studio Ghibli
and this:

(also 1986, Studio Ghibli)
and this!

And oh, say 1726 or so when Gulliver's Travels was first published. We won't even mention the whole "phantom cities" phenomenon that gets mentioned in those "unexplained mysteries" type of books. Not that yours truly is suggesting for a moment that said phantom cities have any basis in reality, merely that the concept has been out there floating around (heh) for a few hundred years.

But that's just one random comment in a McDonald's commercial. McDonald's commercials are known to be wildly out of touch and awful. (Remember the "I'd hit that" burger commercial? Good work, fellas!) It's not James Cameron's fault!

But this little tidbit from the hallowed halls of Fail Blog is pretty interesting:


And finally, the "better than Star Wars" line. Better than Star Wars? Them's fightin' words, mister! Okay, the newer three kind of sucked, and had numerous flaws, so maybe. But the older three?


Rant over. Okay, let the flame-y comments commence!

10 comments:

Night Owl Craftworks said...

I have no desire to see this movie... because it just looks like it will be a complete waste of my time. I'd rather be cleaning my bathroom... I think. You are just reinforcing the hopes I have that this will make it to DVD really quickly and everyone can get over it!

I thought it was Avatar: The Last Airbender at first too... which I liked. (I really appreciate the fart comment... made me laugh). I was hoping they were doing it as the live action movie. THAT I would've seen!

Absolutely Small said...

Thank goodness it's not just me!
A clean bathroom probably would be a better way to spend your time. ^-^

DitsyBird said...

By, you're funny when you rant!
I loved Star Wars (esp. The original trilogy), you can't beat a clean bathroom and...I loved Avatar. It's not better than Star Wars but just as a film watching experience on the 40ft screen at the IMAX cinema, Avatar rocked!
But I would still watch Star Wars on a rainy Sunday afternoon with my boy...it's like having old friends round! =]

Absolutely Small said...

Ha ha! Thanks for the sweet comment. ^-^ I agree- watching Star Wars is like having old friends around.

Scrivener's Retreat said...

Studio Ghibli for the win! It's funny you bring it up because I was just trying to remember the movie Dakota Fanning did the voice to with her sister, and it's Totoro, I believe. And I cannot begin to tell you how in love I was with Spirited Away. I hope my boyfriend doesn't make me see this Avatar with him.

I didn't even really know a thing about it until SNL last week when there was a sketch about it.

Lauren Davis said...

Everyone needs a pug break. FYI- just found your blog in an etsy forum. I've seen you around some bay area craft events. Glad to find your blog!

Anonymous said...

Dear Abso Smalls,
(that's your new hipster name..like Biggie Smalls..but smaller!)

I, too, have no desire to watch Avatar!
Every time I watch some super duper hyped blockbuster sci fi deal (by myself as my wife has smartly given up on any new sci fi long ago!) I always feel let down. No new spectacle can compare to a fresh visit w/ our beloved and tattered original trilogy. There is nothing I like better than to cue up some SW on the telly (or the "always on" tv in my mind) and enjoy some quality time w/ our childhood faves.

Sincerley,
Your pal,
8 Skeins of Danger

Absolutely Small said...

Scrivener: Spirited Away is my favorite Miyazaki! And definitely one of my top 5 favorite movies, period.

Lauren: Nice to meet you (again)! Thanks for commenting!

Skeins: Thanks for the comment! I agree-these mega blockbusters are usually such a let down. Wonderful special effects are no substitute for having Han Solo in a movie. :P

antmee said...

Even though I enjoyed Avatar and also sometimes watch the little airbender because he's cute and reminds me of my son I also enjoyed your rant! You make reasonable statements and I agree Avatar shouldn't win awards for acting or originality. But the visuals and technology used makes it an entertaining movie which is what movies are meant to be about.

Star Wars rocks! I still have the early 80's sticker album and books I got as a child.

Absolutely Small said...

Antmee: Thanks for commenting! The visuals are fantastic indeed. Nobody's knocking that. ^_^

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