I can't take a shower. No, not because of lack of water, although we are getting there thanks to some weirdness with our pipes. I was having a leisurely morning, taking the time to reply to a backlog of emails, when I made the mistake. "Hey! I wonder when my sewing machine will get here?" I clicked on the tracking email. Wonder of wonders, it is due to arrive today. Dancing! Rejoicing! Happiness! And then I noticed the "signature required at time of delivery" note. Erm. So I have to be here. And our UPS deliveries never follow any set schedule. They could get here AT ANY TIME! So here I sit. Stinky. Unpleasant. Waiting. Then came the noise.
It sounded as if a jet was landing in my driveway, so I stepped outside to check things out. I was hit in the face immediately with a wall of horse stink so powerful it could have knocked all the hyperbole right out of me if I wasn't careful. And then I knew what I wanted to blog about today: THINGS I WILL NOT MISS ABOUT THIS HOUSE.
(The really loud jet turbine-y sound was not coming from the driveway, but was apparently coming from some giant tree eating machine down the hill somewhere. All good.)
Okay, item one: The aforementioned horse stench.
We do not have horses, but our down the hill neighbors do. They keep them in a tiny pen right next to their house. This is quite bothersome, as they're all cooped up and it looks sad, and the stink seems to seek out our house especially.
Item number two: Killer dogs on the loose!
The horse-imprisoning neighbors also have delightful evil dogs that have it in for our cars. They chase. They bite. They get hit...AND BOUNCE RIGHT BACK UP TO BITE AGAIN. Clearly, they are devil dogs.
Okay, that's really all. I just had to snark a little. As you were.